Laila: Unimpeccable Me

You would think I would be far enough along in this experiment to know which path to choose when I hit that fork in the road of impeccableness (is that even a word, the red line that popped says otherwise). And I think for the most part I do, but for some reason, one that I probably know deep down inside, I decided to choose the not so impeccable road.

During a conversation with a friend I discovered she was having some issues with a dog they recently inherited from a deceased relative. Issues that were forcing them to make a serious decision about what to do with the dog.  I have a dog, in fact I have the same dog they have, so listening to an option they were considering was really really bothering me. In fact, it was changing the way I felt about her and her husband right on the spot.  

I really did try to be impeccable with my thoughts, I turned it over in my mind trying to figure out another way to look at it so I wasn’t being so hard on her – but I couldn’t.  I was stuck. And it reminded me of another conversation I had with someone about how to maintain impeccability with your words if you are in the presence of someone you really dislike. At the time of the conversation I replied “I guess you just say nothing”.  So that’s what I did. However, as soon as I got off the phone I said plenty to other people.  It started out as first trying to find someone to help find a home for the dog, but quickly deteriorated into conversations with people that I knew would have even stronger opinions then me about the subject. During some of the latter conversations I found myself verbally trying to work out my guilt by making weak guesstimates on her actions. Hmmmm, can you say hypocrite?  Only one person I talked to about the situation knows this friend, but if any of the others ever met her they would clearly have strong opinions of her based on my information.  So as Don Miguel Ruiz states, I used the word against her, and in turn against myself.  

So how do I feel? I don’t know? I feel bad about talking about her but I still don’t understand or agree with her.  I guess the impeccable thing to do would have been to assist her in finding a home for the dog without making judgments or detailing her story to the extent that I did. This would have been easier if I had kept in mind that we are all trying to do the best we can in any given circumstance. So I guess that is my lesson, which goes to show I still have a loooong way to go in getting this impeccability thing down.