Laila: The sound of silence

Have you ever noticed before you embark on any kind of detox, whether it be food or meds or alcohol you are always encouraged to make the first few days similar to a spa retreat. Cut down on any stressful situations or noises. Listen to beautiful music, take a therapeutic bath with candles. Restrict interactions to ones that promote peace and happiness. Hmmm, is your success drastically altered if you can't do that in the beginning?  I never have a quiet home, never. All 3 of the other occupants are noisy unless they are asleep. I have found when I wake up before any of them I can start my morning in the impeccable mind set - I am serene and smiley and everything in life is good. I can manage to keep that feeling for a little while after they are up, but then the noise starts and it's harder to focus on being impeccable. And I know that noise is part of life, that it is normal, which is why following the four agreements can be such a hard undertaking.  I'm not spending a year at some yoga retreat where I can be mindful every second of the day of my breathing, my eating, my thoughts and words. I am living a normal life with kids, a husband, pets, stuff and noise. Real life.

Yesterday I had a truly unimpeccable day, thoughts and words alike. Fortunately I was aware of what was going on and was able to stop myself, but it was haaaard. And when I reflected on those unimpeccable situations later, I determined that most were due to me putting myself into them and then getting frustrated at my choices - thereby verbally lashing out at whoever might be around. So it was a lesson in taking responsibility for my own actions. Good lesson, one that dawned on me at 10 p.m. last night when everyone was alseep and I could sit with it in silence......