Laila: If you could read my mind love...

Attempting to be impeccable with my words and thoughts with my kids is a challenge enough, but attempting to do the same with my husband has proven to be, shall we say, even more challenging.

Situation: Right now my husband and I are in a situation where his work takes him away for ten days, then back for a few then away again, then back, and on and on. This leaves me to care for our young kids, and our needy big brown furry chunk of love from earlier posts. The cat does not count, since we all know he is an island and needs no one but a willing hand to feed him twice a day.  So our days are energetic and hectic and fun and on a pseudo-schedule (mine) which is the way I like it and the way it works best.  Some things get done around the house, and some don’t, because after all since I am the one here it is all about my priorities.

Opportunity (since there are no problems): Enter husband, back from hunting in far off land  - immediately springs into action with his plan/schedule for the next few days.  Of course his vision is not the same as mine, and I am not quite sure how that happened because by this point he should know me well enough to read my mind!  So I take a step back (into the next room, up the stairs and over to the other side of the house) and contemplate how I can handle this shift in my world with impeccability. The contemplating lasts about 30 seconds before the un-impeccable thoughts begin to circle, thoughts that I manage to prevent from oozing out of my mouth. I just start biting my lip instead. Then the thoughts bubble too long under the surface and start to seep out in passive aggressive actions towards the hubby. Not good-especially since he doesn’t even notice! Soon I realize that I am the only one getting all worked up and he is fine because as far as he is concerned things that are important to him are getting done, kids are being fed and played with, and all is well in his kingdom for the few days that he is home.   

Solution: Finally at the end of the weekend, tired of my own festering, I say something. I speak from my heart about what I am feeling, nothing snarky, only the truth. I am impeccable with my word.  And right away he gets it and says “Just tell me next time”.  It completely changed how I was feeling, and in an instant I could feel all of the tension I had managed to store up just melt away. I also realized I had expended  a lot of unnecessary energy over the weekend by internalizing my feelings and wallowing in un-impeccable thoughts. Moral of the story? Next time have the conversation a lot sooner so his time home can be enjoyed by all–or better yet, maybe there won’t be a next time…...HAHAHAHAHA, oh me, living the dream!